Yesterday I got up early, well, for me anyway, and went to the center where they squish your breasts and take pictures. This being my first time and all, I was understandably nervous. But once I got there, had the courage to drive over and walk through those glass doors, I was greeted by women. That got it. That knew this was my first time, and showed me kindness and grace. And the nurse, she told me she knew what it was like to be me, because she had been in my spot. Had gotten this same test done. Had gotten the results that said come back. Knew how I felt. Her test had turned out fine in the end. But her sister, well now, she had been battling cancer spreading for eleven years now. When the sister first found out, she prayed to see her daughter graduate. Now that daughter is twenty six and getting ready to graduate. For good. So the sister is nervous about the answered prayer that has been honored all these eleven years. Is it all, this fight, going to end? I told my nurse that God answers so much more abundantly than what we even know to ask for. Who knows the days on Earth or hairs on her sister's head? And she said yes.
The sister has survived with this cancer ridden body for so long because of experimental testing and drugs. She has been the guinea pig for any study they accept her to. Her reason? If they can learn something from her own struggles, it might help her daughter one day. So she keeps signing up and she keeps pressing on. I ask my nurse if her sister has had quality in those eleven years? And she said yes.
The weight has come and gone and come and gone. Along with the hair. But most of the time, yes, it has been good. Not easy. Worth it.
I got back in my car and I started driving home, and suddenly tears sprang up, and I couldn't figure out why. Until I thought back and I realized how many women have died being the help for the next woman to fight the fight. Never before had it struck me so intimately how much these women sacrifice so that I can have the better chance, the better treatment, the better quality drugs. So to all those that fight in any form - not just for second base:) - thank you. Truly.