Lent

Lent is coming. I have been trying to decide what I plan on giving up for weeks now. Most people don't even celebrate lent, but for me lent has become the ultimate symbol of waiting and patience. Getting to Easter Sunday has become an incredible journey these last few years. (Please see the labels to read about those journeys. I am not savvy enough to do one of those highlighted links here.) The season of lent, which leads us into Holy Week and finally Easter Sunday, has always been important given that I grew up in a liturgical church that puts emphasis on spiritual discipline, such as fasting, confession, weekly celebration of the Eucharist, incense, sanctus's sang at every service, and on, and on, and on.

I am not Catholic. I'm Episcopalian. Lately Anglican. But it really, honestly, does not matter the category.

The point is, I'm Christian, and in my particular upbringing the religious seasons were to be practiced using set disciplines.

Lent was the time of sacrifice in order to taste just slightly the way Christ felt in sacrificing himself for us. By giving up something we love, we are constantly reminded of Christ. Some people give up meat, chocolate, facebook, etc. Others instead feel compelled to add a discipline to their day, such as daily devotionals or exercise.

So, given this knowledge, every year growing up, I gave up the same thing. Brussels sprouts. Lent was always a thorn in a kid's year. So, we came up with more useful ways to celebrate Christ's sacrifice by giving up foods we despised. Then we would quite righteously announce we could not eat said Brussels sprouts because we were using them to contemplate Christ's sacrifice for us. We thought we were brilliant.

Now I'm a grown up. And I'm torturing my kids with Lent. But in all seriousness, by practicing this discipline as a child, however halfheartedly, I find myself deeply moved when practicing these disciplines as an adult. I have even found myself mentally preparing for Lent way before it starts. I prepare myself for the discipline of patience, for the journey. The last two years I have made a Station of the Cross (#5 and #8). This year I do not feel a strong pull to make another one. So then what? This year, I have decided to step out of my comfort zone, and write for forty days, on here, and post my ramblings on facebook. Some days may be short, but I will attempt to post something spiritual, whether it be about my Lenten journey, or a hymn I love, or a Bible verse, each day, six days a week, starting on Ash Wednesday. I am stating this to give myself some accountability. Please feel free to join me. I'd love the company.

Grace Flows Down

The song that comes on when you clicked on my blog was one that actually helped me in a mental block a few days before I gave up Simon's bag for display. It aptly fits with another piece of art I made last fall, and the song I used as inspiration was Laura Story's Grace.

Ladder of Grace

Ladder = accomplishments, the next step, progression of life and progression towards sanctification

Starting at bottom rung

1^st feet = birth, physically and spiritually; boy and girl

2^nd feet = early childhood; paisley and apples - growth

3^rd feet = childhood and adolescence; stripes - pathways; black and white - conflict between innocence and rebellion

4^th feet = providers; plaid and dress shirt - dependable provider; flowers and many patterns - busyness and nurturer

5^th feet = empty nest; embroidered tapestry and deep satin purple - richness, wisdom

6^th feet = death and release of spirit; Irish linen – dust; red, streaked, raw silk – Spirit

Ribbons = relationship between male and female counterparts

1^st set = conception

2^nd set = growth

3^rd set = clear black and white ideals; hot pink for passion

4^th set = provider and nurturer; gray for blurred lines

5^th set = deep connection

6^th set = connected by the Spirit

Cheesecloth that provides the main support for the entire piece = Grace

It runs all through our phases of spiritual and physical lives, and flows endlessly in one continual piece. The flowing cheesecloth that runs down behind the piece shows us that we are always covered in grace and the knots and silver buttons (nails) at the bottom are God’s hands to lift us up and to catch us when we fall.

**This piece was created specifically to hang during a weekend retreat on sanctification and grace. While the piece may seem a bit pieced together and busy when looking at a picture, part of the fun of working with fabric is that the viewer can walk up and touch each element. This sense of touch is lost when viewing through a photo.**

Music and Art

Oftentimes when I am asked or feel called to sew a piece of artwork, I pick a song to represent that particular project. My classic favorite artist is Robin Mark. Maybe it is his voice, maybe the music and lyrics, or maybe the connection I feel to him since my family has met him twice now. Michael had the opportunity to play drums in two of his concerts the last two summers. There's something about seeing your husband rocking out on stage and singing along to Jesus music - children, friends, and parents at your side - with an Irishman as your guide. The memory alone wells up and overflows in my heart. Music stirs my soul, and I am going to make the assumption that it has the ability to stir most anybody's. My children jump around the house to the slightest hint of a beat. It is innate in us; it is strong and powerful and inspirational; it is motivating. And for me, it weaves visions I need to make the art that I am asked to make.

Please stay awhile, read, and enjoy my playlist. It's varied - some spiritual, some fun, some memorable of stages in life!




Travel Bag for Simon of Cyrene

The bag itself holds rocks, and was originally set at the base of a cross. There's lots of meaning here. Simon had to set down his own priorities for the day to help Christ carry the cross. For us, when looking at a bag loaded with rocks, we would be crazy to go and take on that burden. We would be crazy to pick up Simon's bag and follow in his example...unless you look inside. Written on the rocks are verses from the bible. God's words, God's power are contained in that bag. Others have written blessings on rocks and added them to the bag. Accepting the bag is not a burden after all. The strap looped around the bag is actually three strands of white gauze fabric braided and tied into an Anglican rosary. The gauze is white for purity and braided to represent the three pieces of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The red knots represent fruits of the Spirit - love, peace, joy, kindness, self control, gentleness, patience, faithfulness, and goodness.

Feeling Him

I finally felt Him. Praise Jesus! (Do a dance right here!) See, I have been making "my" station since the beginning of Lent. I felt inspired to make it and felt a "vision" of it last Easter Sunday. I was thrilled to know I would get to participate again after such a deeply spiritual experience last year. Then I went back to work and in chapel with the munchkins the entire lesson was on what I had planned to do for my station. See, my station is all about Simon of Cyrene, and I had a vision of his travel bag. I just didn't know what to put in it. (Toothbrush and an extra pair of underwear didn't seem appropriate.) Then, at chapel (at St. Martin's where I work), the whole lesson for the kiddos was about Simon coming in from the country with a basket of eggs. They turned to beautifully decorated eggs by the end of the story. What a sign! I was meant to make the bag - and fill it with eggs.

Fast forward to 2010 Lenten season. Bag - definitely. Eggs - ? Then I went to my bible study, and we talked about Ebenezer rocks. The women from my group inspire me just about every time they talk, and I was not disappointed this time either. Bag - Yes. Eggs - no. Rocks - Definitely! At the moment I realized what God wanted me to make, things got a little easier. Still, I had not had the feeling that the Spirit stirred in me. The entire Lenten season I have procrastinated and dragged my feet on this project. I have not obsessed about it. I have not been excited about it. I have certainly not been motivated. Yet today the Lord saved me - from embarrassment, worry, pride, apathy, myself essentially. He inspired me; He let me feel His presence. I am no longer worried whether I got it just right or whether people will feel Him through me. I no longer feel the responsibility to do this on my own. I feel Him, and I cannot tell you how relieved I am. And all I have to say, is once again, I may have been gifted the physical skills needed to make station #5, but it is His creation. I have been saved, and I cannot take credit. Oh thank you, sweet Jesus!

Station #5

Station Five: Simon of Cyrene takes up the Cross

Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I carry a purse that is one big pit. In it are numerous items, including but not limited to, legos, mini cars, lipstick, grocery receipts, granola bars, pens, wallet, sunglasses, bobby pins, and who knows what else. I could go on, but you'd stop reading. I carry it everywhere. I rarely leave it behind. And I can't imagine in recent history women have acted much differently than me.

With men it is their wallet. My husband, Michael, is on the ultimate quest to find the perfect wallet. Such an item would have room for all his cards and cash, including his change. There would be no jangling while he walked and it would remain flat and thin and not bother him when he sits. According to him, he used to own this masterful wallet, but then foolishly threw it away when the stitching came undone. The regret still irks him.

Essentially purses, wallets, backpacks, fanny packs - They are all made for the same purpose. They are created to help us carry our stuff from one place to the next as we travel. Maybe we are only traveling to the park, or maybe we are traveling to Rwanda, but nonetheless, we are traveling somewhere and we need something to carry stuff. We could never go empty handed. Nope. Not practical. We might need something - like bobby pins or water bottles.

So my guess is that if Simon of Cyrene was coming in from the countryside for the day - on the same day Jesus happened to be crucified - he would have had a travel bag. It may have had his lunch in it. Maybe it was holding goods to be sold at market. Maybe, as legend sometimes implies, he was carrying eggs. Who knows. But if I could, I would bet on him at least having a bag. And that makes designing station number five fun. Because hanging on the cross on Good Friday will be my version of Simon's travel bag. And in it will be rocks. Lots of rocks. Little rocks, big rocks, smooth rocks, bumpy rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Why? Because think about Simon taking up the cross. The whole station means for us to symbolically take up our own cross. We get nervous when we talk about really taking up our cross. It's heavy. Like a bag of rocks heavy. And if you look at it from an outsider's point of view, not a positive action to be taking. Who would reasonably agree to take up a bag full of rocks, who would take on this burden, this so called cross? Christians. Look in the bag. It's not just any rocks in there. Those are Ebenezer rocks. Rocks that mean, "Thus far the Lord has helped us." (I Samuel 7:12) Written on each rock is a verse from the bible. Some of God's many promises. Some of God's words of comfort. God's verses on each rock. This bag, this travel bag is not a heavy burden to those who know Him. It's powerful. But one has to know, to walk up, to look inside, to rifle through the bag, to see. Blessings are in there, heavy though they may seem. Blessings in that travel bag. Your bag. My bag. Simon's bag.


If you have a favorite verse from the bible that would go in your travel bag, what would it be? I would love to include it in Simon's.

Station Number Eight

Last year I made a giant teardrop that has all these layers and fasteners and textured fabrics because God told me to do it. Really. I am not kidding. In church one Sunday, Aaron Burt, one of our priests, asked for artists to sign up to make the different Stations of the Cross. He then explained that the works would be put on display for Good Friday. I had to fight the urge to stand up in the middle of the congregation with my hand raised high, going, " Ooh, me! Ooh, ooh, pick me!" Now, I will admit that I can be a bit of a joiner and I tend to over commit myself, but my sewing to this point had been considered by me to be a craft/ hobby. Not art. So I really had no clue why I was signing up for this and why I was so excited about it. I ended up with station #8. For the next 40 or so days I obsessed about my teardrop. I visited fabric stores, I drew up plans, I listened to music, and I prayed. At one fabric store, the women were so moved by what I was making, they gave me fabric off the bolts for free. They said they could see the Spirit working in me, and they just asked that I bring back my final product. I did. They got teary eyed. I felt humbled. The whole time I didn't feel as though what I was making was really my idea, but that I certainly had the skills to make what I was being led to make. And so, I made a teardrop because God told me to. And he was louder than usual. And I listened as best I could. Then, once my part was finished, my priest referred me to a friend and carpenter, Chris Montmeny, to make a stand to put the teardrop on. He said he'd be happy to help; he'd make a stand for my piece by Good Friday. When he showed up, he had made not just any old podium. Chris had made a beautiful art table that sits as a piece of furniture in my home today, and on Good Friday it displayed my teardrop, God's teardrop. The whole experience was truly humbling. I felt so close to God. I felt so incredibly loved. Easter Sunday arrived, the Lord had risen, and when I looked up at the Cross on that morning in church, a new vision struck me. My next station. Station #5. So, now here we are, about to start Lent. And I am about to get to work - on station #5 - because God told me to. And I have to admit, I am nervous. I pray that God talks to me again this year, but even more, I pray that I am able to listen. Amen.