Moving Forward: The Wedding Dress Project

The missionaries went to Rwanda this summer. They delivered our dresses. They came back - with more to do. I know their trip was deeply meaningful. You could see it on their faces, and feel it in their lack of words. But now, the dust has settled, and there is more - more to do.

Cookie brought back several projects that need her attention, and so, I am taking over the wedding dress project. It's exciting to think that brides have already worn some of our dresses; that some other women have also said, "I do," in the very same clothes that we wore when we uttered those same words.

I smile to think of them growing in love with their spouse as I have had the privilege of doing with mine. I pray for them and wonder about them often.

Here are some photos from the original delivery of the dresses. They are pictured in a room at the local Anglican Church. A shop was being rented in town as our missionaries left to come home, and as I stated before, the business is operating.

Since this business is an ongoing project, we are continuing to collect all sorts of items:

wedding dresses
bridesmaid dresses
flower girl dresses
pieces of lace, head dress, notions
monetary donations
PRAYER - lots and lots of prayer

Thanks and blessings!

Wedding Dress Project: New Update

Cookie went to Rwanda. The mission team carried the dresses in suitcases to their recipients. Did I mention how they carried them? In spacebags. Some readers already knew that. What nobody thought to consider until Cookie started worrying two days before their flight was customs. Customs like to open bags. Spacebags explode. Wedding dresses sucked into a tiny suitcase released. The entire scenario made me laugh tearfully and just put the whole endeavor into God's hands. After all, I just helped collect and bag the dresses. Cookie was one of the ones going to stand in the customs line.

God intervened. The whole mission team arrived. Suitcases arrived. Loaded down spacebags arrived. Many days later, the mission team came home. I haven't talked with anyone in detail except Cookie, but between arriving and departing, God and those missionaries worked their tails off. From my understanding, it is quite a bit to process the sight and the experience of a whole new culture. I am guessing the mission team is still pondering parts from the trip. I cannot wait to hear the stories that flow out from them.

What I do know is that the mission is not over; in some ways it has been going on since the beginning of time, and in new ways it is just getting started. The women in Rwanda loved the dresses. They were overjoyed with our response in collecting dresses, and they are making arrangements to get their business off the ground. Right now the dresses are housed in an extra room at the Anglican center in Kibungo. Mother's Union, the momma non-profit group overseeing this project, is looking for a storefront in town. They have purchased some equipment for sewing, but they need to purchase cleaning equipment. They are saving up for a large wash basin and steam press. Dry cleaning can burn or damage the delicate fabrics and beadwork on many of the dresses, so they will wash them each by hand. As this rental business gets established, it will be used to train more women for other areas within the Kibungo Diocese. A neighboring large town, Rwamagana, is where my church's sister parish is located, and women from that parish will be the next to receive training for a similar enterprise.

So, what next? Here we will continue to collect dresses - wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, flower girl dresses. We will accept monetary donations for cleaning equipment. We would love any knowledge on other economic shipping methods. We adore prayer. If you want to talk further, please feel free to email me at phatch@sc.rr.com and I can either answer your questions or get you in touch with Cookie.

One last tidbit of exciting news. Author Catherine Claire Larson, As We Forgive, has written a one minute radio script about our project. It will air on The Point with Mark Earley sometime in July. I'll let you know more as I receive information.


**And, finally, as soon as I get copies of pictures, I'll post them. I know many people are excited to see where our dresses have ended up!**

The Wedding Dress Project - Update

Robinella and the CC Stringband played. We all took turns spinning to the music. Flowers stood literally ten feet in the air... and the view! Walls of windows overlooking the river. Huge three story ceilings with artwork strikingly hung just so along the walls. The cake - a basketweave, of course. It was in back then. And,seriously, did I mention the flowers? Not just ten feet tall, but exotic at that, all brightly colored and dramatic in their beauty. And me in my dress. And Michael in his tux. And all our family. Together for that one moment to celebrate the vows we had just taken. All there to enthusiastically send us on our way. It was memorable, and it was only the beginning...

Almost nine years ago Michael and I got married and started our life together. It has been one heck of a ride. I wouldn't wish a marriage on anyone unless they wanted it with all their heart, and I wouldn't trade mine for anything in the world.

That said, I am sharing all of this with you, because these past couple of months I have been feeling incredibly blessed. I have been helping collect these wedding dresses for The Wedding Dress Project, and I cannot tell you how much love I have felt poured out from people in the response we have gotten. Just to let y'all know, to date, we have received around 50 dresses. Cookie originally said she prayed we could get 20 wedding dresses. God more than doubled our goal, and through you, provided not just wedding dresses, but bridesmaid dresses as well. Bishop Sendagaya and his wife, Dorothy, are so pleased with the response that we are figuring out how to start collecting dresses to start other businesses in other dioceses of Rwanda. The child survivors of the genocide in the Kibungo Diocese, and possibly in other parts of Rwanda, will have wedding attire for their day, for the celebration of their marriage and their life together. I just can't wait to see the pictures! Can you?

Cookie leaves in 9 days!! I will keep all of you posted on any progress...

And just so you know, since we are now expanding this ministry, we will continue to accept dresses. We will send them over as people travel back and forth between our two countries. Thank you for all of your donations and for your thoughts and prayers!

Wedding Dress Project: Entry #2

As many of you know, my church is collecting wedding dresses for Rwandan women. Women in Rwanda rent their dresses, and there simply aren't enough rental companies. Therefore, by us donating dresses to our sister province, women in the Kibungo Diocese will be able to start a business which can help provide living wages to other women and further connects us with those that have given us so much of themselves in many, many ways.

You may wonder, "What have they given us? In what ways?"

Testament like no other I have ever heard. Testament of love, faith, forgiveness, and joy born out of torture, terrorizing agony, loss, gross unfairness - genocide. A thought struck me while driving. The women that will be wearing the dresses we give were children during the 100 day genocide in 1994 that took the lives of almost one million people.

One day = 10,000 deaths : Rwandan genocide = 4 Haitian earthquakes or 4 Indonesian tsunamis : 100 days = 1 year of Hitler's reign

I am estimating these figures, but they help us grab a piece of perspective.

The point is, the women wearing our dresses were little when their country, their province, their village, their homes, their parents, brothers, sisters, and cousins were thrown into chaos, burned, murdered or forced to be murderers. They went into hiding. They witnessed it up close and survived, maybe at the sacrifice of a family member's life. They will never, ever, ever, be the same. Some of these young people are the children of victims. Some are the children of murderers. They live side by side, literally next door to each other. The government, local leaders, and people have made it so. Assassins that have confessed and asked forgiveness are to live in the town they ravaged. Next to the families they ravaged. They are all to learn to live together so that this never, ever, ever happens again. And because of this unprecedented movement of forgiveness among people both Christian and Nonchristian, there is hope. There are weddings to be had. Vows to be taken. Bonds to be created under God's many blessings. And we may learn by the Rwandans' humbling and powerful example.

The other gift we have received from the Rwandans affects those now connected with the Anglican Church of North America, but is a lesson for us all. There have been many issues among Anglicans worldwide, and within the Episcopal branch here in the United States, mediation was sought from the larger communion by those upset with lots of stuff. Leaders wrote a letter back in 1998 to the world leaders of the Anglican communion asking for help in mediation, since the Episcopalians could not resolve issues on their own. The only person in the entire worldwide communion that offered to help was the Rwandan bishop. The reason he answered the call - Four years earlier, in 1994, during the 100 day genocide, he had sent out a call for help to the world. Not one person answered his call. Not one. Not you. Not me. Not anyone. And he never wanted anyone to feel how hopeless he felt. Not one. So despite his country's poverty stricken, grieving, war torn status, he offered to help if he could. He offered his heart so that the priests asking for mediation in the US would not feel ignored and alone. That's all. And it, to them, was everything. Missional churches have been planted in lots of places. The Africans have come to minister to the Americans. And it is a beautiful relationship.

So now y'all know why I am so passionate about this project. I am learning to listen to my heart about balance in my life while still honoring God. I can't help everyone. I'm not supposed to. But this project, it pulls at me. If you also feel called to help, just keep reading.



Ways you can still help:

Donations of wedding, bridesmaids, and flower girl dresses are still being taken for a few more weeks.

Monetary donations are also accepted. We are collecting funds to help cover shipping costs, the purchase of a sewing machine, and start up funds to add a dry cleaning business to the dress rental company.

If you would like information about this project, I would be happy to put you in touch with Cookie Richardson, who's leading up our church's part in it. Just let me know!

Also, if you want to know more about the genocide and the acts of forgiveness, look up As We Forgive by Catherine Claire Larson, and the movie also titled As We Forgive by Laura Waters Hinson. The book and movie use different stories to tell about the same event. I have read the book, and will someday soon get up the courage to watch the movie.

Wedding Dress Project

My wedding dress was the most beautiful dress I have ever worn, and honestly, ever have worn since. It had gold beading and intricately sewn flowers and paisleys all over the bodice. It's thin spaghetti straps glistened with crystal beads, and the skirt was a gorgeously simple taffeta silk that hung to the floor. It was - and still is - an exquisite piece of clothing. And it hangs in my closet having only been worn for fittings, pictures, and one amazing evening almost nine years ago.

I also have another gorgeous white dress hanging in my closet, one that was supposed to be my wedding dress. It was my debutante dress, bought with the idea that I would wear it for my debut and then save it for my wedding day. My father had taken me dress shopping. I had a magazine with MY dress featured in it, and I begged him to pay a ridiculous amount of money for this dress, convincing him, promising him that I would indeed wear it again when the right man came along. I was twenty years old. Five years later I had found that man but I had changed, matured, moved on. So when I pulled out that precious white gown from my closet at home, I sighed. I sighed because deep down I knew I had promised to wear something that I did not want to wear again. And I didn't. And my dad just shook his head. My precious parents, there are not words for how loved I have been.

Both of these dresses have been in my bedroom closet of my parents' home for many years. There has not been a reason to need them, yet I haven't been able to bring myself to get rid of even one of them - until now. My church, Church of the Apostles (CotA), has strong ties to Rwanda. A few months ago, a woman by the name of Cookie Richardson told me about a wedding dress project that our church was going to support. Women in Rwanda rent their dresses for their wedding day. In the Kibungo Diocese there is not a rental company located in a central place for brides to be able to rent a dress. SO, CotA is teaming up with another church in St. Louis to collect enough dresses to start a wedding dress rental business. The business will allow women in need to earn a sustainable living while providing dresses to brides. What a blessing to all! Now I have a place for my dress to go, women with seamstress skills will be employed, and brides will get to wear the kind of dress they have also dreamed about since their childhood. How creative and nurturing is our God!

All this said, I am now asking for help in supporting this project. Cookie Richardson is heading up this endeavor and needs many different kinds of donations. A group called Mother's Union has significant presence in Kibungo Diocese and has helped in the writing of an initial business plan. Please see the list below, and if you feel so called to help, please let me know!

Needs include:

Wedding dresses
Accessories - veils, pieces of fabric, headpieces, undergarments for the dresses, etc.
Flower girl dresses
Bridesmaids dresses
Space Saver bags (The ones you suck the air out of with a vacuum cleaner)
Monetary donations to help in shipping costs
Monetary donations to go toward sewing machines that can be man powered with a pedal when electricity is not available
Old suitcases for missionaries to carry the dresses to Rwanda
Prayer, always prayer!

If you want more information, I have a more extensive summary I can send you. God bless!