Day 2

Wade in the water.
Wade in the water, children.
Wade in the water 'cause God's goin' to trouble the water.

Wade in the water.
Wade in the water, children.
Wade in the water 'cause God's goin' to trouble the water.

See that band all dressed in white, God's goin' trouble the water,
the leader looks like the Israelites, God's goin' trouble the water.

See that band all dressed in red, God's goin' trouble the water;
looks like the band that Moses led, God's goin' trouble the water.

 - an old spiritual

Ash Wednesday 2012: Day 1

Luckily, this year I did not give up anger.  If that had happened, I would have already failed miserably at Lent.  Instead, I took up praying - which, between cursing under my breath, I have made half ditch efforts to do today - and writing.

With this shoot bang start to Lent, I declare the word work for the day is abundance.  Friendships do not need be either or.  Christ offers His grace to us all - even our enemies.  Love does not have to be only when it's easy.  Christ loves us - even when we don't follow His rules.  Forgiveness is not a finite number.  He forgives us over and over and over again.  And so, His abundance should overflow out of us and into this world.  Should.  It's just that sometimes this abundance smells a bit like responsibility, and we tend to shy away from such odors.  And in our selfishness and our inability to let our cup run over, we cause hurt and loneliness and anger.  We become unable to see the abundance constantly shed on us.  We become blind.

So today, I am reminding myself that God is abundant.  Abundant enough to give us His son.  Abundant enough to love us when we loved Him.  Abundant enough to love us when we hated Him.  Abundant enough to keep forgiving us no matter what.  Abundant enough to grace us with blessings through all of it.  Abundant enough to be enough.  Just enough.  More than enough.  Enough to flow over.  Overflowing abundance.

Ultreya.

And the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  The saying is sure and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the foremost.  But for that very reason I received mercy, so that in me, as the foremost,Jesus Christ might display the utmost patience, making me an example to those who would come to beleive in him for eternal life.  To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.  Amen.

I Timothy 1:14-17

It's that time again: Lenten planning

Lent is coming.  It's a time for contemplation and sacrifice.  It's a time of patience.  It's that time in the dreary days of the end of winter when the cold weather is no longer a novelty and overcast days just make a person care that much less about wearing pajamas in public.  Everything feels gray and gray seems to have no ending.  Any snow on the ground is brown.  That is when Lent, a time of penitence, rolls in. 

Wierdly, it is usually my favorite time of the church calendar, because there are many deeply enriching traditions in my faith that go with the season.  Pancake suppers, ashes in the shape of a cross on the forehead, sacrifice, devotionals, Wednesday soup dinners, Bible study, palms branches and singing, stripping of the Cross, foot washings, Seder meals, stations of the Cross, candlelight mass, a break the fast party, and then glorious Easter Sunday.  All that crammed into forty six days.

However, this year I am not feeling it.  We are a soccer family, and soccer games keep falling on Sunday.  We are emptying ourselves and struggling to fill ourselves back up.  I frankly feel a bit unmotivated and a bit downtrodden trying to be Christ like when I'm not even going to church to get reminded again why I need to behave like Christ.  Which makes me realize that this year more than ever, I need Lent.

Last year, we gave up anger and shopping, and I wrote here for forty days.  This year I don't feel strong enough to give up anger and shopping, and though yes, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, I'm still not up to it.


So here's this year's plan:

1.  We will have nightly devotionals as a family.
2.  I will again share daily on my blog for forty days.  (This means Sunday is still a day of rest.)
3.  I will pray.
4.  We will give up meat on Fridays.  Sushi is just considered bait in York County, SC, so we might have some on the occasional Friday....

***Please feel free to join us in any or all of our journey this year.***

Cupcakes - The good ones

Last week I got to substitute in a third grade class.  And it was a birthday day.  And the kid whose birthday day it was had the kind of mom that brings cupcakes from the special bakery to school with the good juice boxes and little plates and napkins and even a balloon for the birthday boy.  And we all got to participate.  And the birthday boy got to stand up in the middle of the lunch room while we all sang the birthday song. 

The cupcakes were delicious.  The birthday boy - pleased as punch with all of the attention.  The other kids - excited to get the good cupcakes with lots of icing.  The parents of the birthday boy - sweet as could be and beaming proudly at their son.  Me - thrilled to be included.

And then comes the best, bitter sweet moment of the whole scene.  The class lines up to go back to class, and as we are walking away, I hear this child lean forward and say to the birthday boy, "You know the only reason your mom did all of that for you is because you are an only.  If you had brothers or sisters, she wouldn't do all that.  She wouldn't have time."

And the birthday boy, a bit surprised, said back, "Yes she would.  Why wouldn't she?  She'd love them just like she does me."

And the other one, "Nope.  Once there's more than one, your parents don't do all that.  It's too much to do."

And I thought, he's right.  What he states is true.  It is too much for us to accomplish when we have to spread ourselves around.  There's only so much of us and only so much time.

But God, well, this is what makes Him so incredible.  He can do it all for all of us, and He can do it abundantly.  And that just makes me smile.

a little holiday miracle...

Yesterday was laundry day.  Again.  I have not yet figured my way out of laundry day...  And we were going to have to wash clothes or make a trip to Walmart before our showers, so laundry day it was.

Some parts of the world don't have it so easy as simply a laundry day, so I choose to rejoice in my abundance.  But that is for another day.

Awhile back my husband, Michael, lost his ring.  Not his wedding ring - the other one.  It was his commitment ring to God.  A few years ago he was gifted a ring with a cross cut out of the center.  It was to be used as a silent reminder of his commitment to Christ.  And since that day when Michael was gifted that ring, he has worn it.  When Michael was struggling or angry with God or needing some quiet time to sort through his thoughts, he turned the cross inward.  When he felt strong enough to be a disciple of Christ working in his life, he turned the cross outward.  But every day Michael wore it.

Until recently.

Because, one day, it disappeared when he took it off to shower and get ready for work.  We looked everywhere, but we could not find his ring.  And for Michael, that was a pretty big deal.

So back to yesterday, and laundry day.  There I was sorting through the bins of dirty clothes, and I wondered why the clothes towards the bottom were burning hot.  So I pulled the bins away to look.  And the picture below is what I found.....

There was an old radiator in the baseboard that we thought did not work.  And up against that old baseboard radiator was our laundry.  And our plastic clothing bags.  And our extra bath mats.  And a painter's drop cloth - with paint on it.  And underneath this burning pile of stuff - stuff that had been melting and burning since it turned cold, stuff that had smelled, but I couldn't figure out why - was Michael's ring.  I wanted to take a picture of the ring for you, but he's wearing it and he is at work today.  It's just a normal Monday.

Could have turned out much differently, save for the miracle.  Could have been a tragic Monday instead.  See, there is a family at my boys' school who just lost everything.  Their house burned to the ground just three streets over from ours.  I bought smoke detectors, but I haven't taken the time to figure out how to attach them to an old 1940's plaster ceiling.  So this- this salvation from fire - it is a true miracle. 

I don't know why God saved us and yet our neighbors are having to rebuild their lives.  We certainly don't deserve to be saved while they suffer.  I have no answer.  But I am grateful.  And I recognize God's saving hand. 

My oldest son, Key, saw the burned pile and his first words say it all.

"Praise be to God we are okay.  Mom, Praise be to God."

Yes, Key, Praise be to God.  And thank you, God.  Thank you for guiding us to your ring.

Advent 2011 Week Three: Apostles Visit (and JOY)

We went home today.

 

Columbia home. 

Uncle Bryan and Aunt Ginny home. 

Seeing all the Hatches home.

Church of the Apostles home. 

And, oh, it felt so good to see those familial faces and feel in person those familial hugs.  We love all of our family and we miss living close enough to see them every week.  But what made it even more special was seeing genuine joy on their faces at the sight of us. 

It's honestly the mutual joy of being real together, of having life together, that makes each place home. 

What's funny is that in all of our church hopping lately, we miss the preaching and teaching of the clergy at Church of the Apostles.  So, ironically, we ended up visiting on a day that they had a guest speaker.  This guest, Wesley Hill, started talking, and he didn't sound like home.  He sounded comfortable and polished and all together, but he didn't sound like what I had come for.  I found myself looking at my husband, with me thinking, "Damn it, every Sunday we keep hearing all these smart professory people, and my husband is just soaking it all in."  I also found myself assuming that the reason God kept sending me to intellectual sermons was because He needed to talk to my husband and He needed me to sit still and be supportive.  I seriously doubted there being any purpose to today's message and me. 

But, I figured, since I was already there, I might as well try to pay attention.  I mean, I can be smart too if I want to be.

When Wesley Hill finished, the man sitting next to me abruptly got up and left immediately after the sermon and never came back.  I had been so immersed in myself and my thoughts that I started wondering if the way I had been leaning in to hear the speaker over the air conditioner had offended my neighbor in some way.  I did not consider that maybe he HAD actually listened - all the way from the beginning - to the speaker and been rattled by it or had something in his life that needed his attention. 

So, a few minutes later, when a man walked in and sat down in the seat my previous neighbor had just abandoned, I figured I should be nice.  After a few minutes I handed him my program so he could follow the rest of the service.  I explained that we would have communion.  And when he asked if he could also take communion, I explained that it was, indeed, open to all baptized people.  I also invited him the go to the altar to receive a blessing if he was not, after all, baptized. 

And this is when God laughed at me.

This sweet humble man proclaimed in the most beautiful accent (Kenyan, it turned out) that he was born again.  He was joyful to receive communion.  He then asked me what the message for the day had said, being that he was visiting for the first time and had gotten the service time wrong and missed it.  So I summarized that stranger in the pulpit's sermon.

The Kenyan, well, he quietly whispered, "Amen."

And he smiled. 

That is when I heard God's laughter.

God also whispered to me, "Welcome."

Truly, for now and maybe always, Apostles is home.

Because of our friends. 

Because of the messages we hear - even the ones delivered through the voices of the guests.   

Because when we walk in the doors, God's grace meets us. 

And most of all, because it is where I can hear God laughing. 

And that, my friend, is reason for joy.

**Coincidentally, week three of Advent stands for JOY in liturgical churches.**

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Advent 2011: Days 3 - 5 - It's All About the Timing

Timing is everything.  At least God's timing is.  Everything, I mean.

Back around Christmas 1985, I wanted - more than ANYTHING else - a pair of red Arabian belly dancing pajamas.  The pants flowed and moved and looked to a young girl, well, intoxicating.  I had to have them.  Needed them.  Craved them.  Could think of nothing else except those red Arabian belly dancing pajamas.

So in the weeks leading up to the B.I.G. day, I searched for them.  And I found them.  Hidden.  In the basement in a big blanket chest.  And I felt fabulous knowing that those red pajamas would be mine.

The only problem was, I had not found them under a tree on the B.I.G. day as my parents had intended.  Instead I had cheated, and by doing so, soiled the Christmas experience with a nagging, annoying, mood spoiling emotion.  Guilt.  I had messed with the timing of the gift giving.  I had taken from my parents the ability to surprise me and feel joy over making their daughter happy on the B.I.G. day.  And so I did what any good, guilt ridden, nine year old girl would do.  I faked it.  I acted surprised.  I acted as though I hadn't known that I was getting red Arabian belly dancing pajamas and that the joy on my face was R.E.A.L.  But it wasn't.  R.E.A.L.  It was forced.

I did still wear those suckers all over the place, and I did still love them, but it wasn't quite the same as it could have been.  I had shadowed, ever so slightly, the joy.

Looking back now and dealing with lots of transition and lots of decisions makes me wonder about God's timing.  I want to feel settled.  I want that dream house and that comfortable bank account and a church in an actual building that is designated as a church all seven days of the week.  I actually almost had all that.  For a little while.

Makes me want to force life's blessings like I did back when I was nine with those fabulous pajamas. And yet, I must remember the consequense of the timing.  I must turn the almosts and the not quites and I want it nows all over to Him. I must trust in His role as Father, Provider, Comforter, Teacher, Redeemer, Soul Saver, God.  I must trust and come to understand that Christmas Day will come.  Maybe on December 25th.  Maybe another time.  But on that B.I.G. day, in His perfect timing, that joy - well, it will be R.E.A.L.