Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Feeling Him

I finally felt Him. Praise Jesus! (Do a dance right here!) See, I have been making "my" station since the beginning of Lent. I felt inspired to make it and felt a "vision" of it last Easter Sunday. I was thrilled to know I would get to participate again after such a deeply spiritual experience last year. Then I went back to work and in chapel with the munchkins the entire lesson was on what I had planned to do for my station. See, my station is all about Simon of Cyrene, and I had a vision of his travel bag. I just didn't know what to put in it. (Toothbrush and an extra pair of underwear didn't seem appropriate.) Then, at chapel (at St. Martin's where I work), the whole lesson for the kiddos was about Simon coming in from the country with a basket of eggs. They turned to beautifully decorated eggs by the end of the story. What a sign! I was meant to make the bag - and fill it with eggs.

Fast forward to 2010 Lenten season. Bag - definitely. Eggs - ? Then I went to my bible study, and we talked about Ebenezer rocks. The women from my group inspire me just about every time they talk, and I was not disappointed this time either. Bag - Yes. Eggs - no. Rocks - Definitely! At the moment I realized what God wanted me to make, things got a little easier. Still, I had not had the feeling that the Spirit stirred in me. The entire Lenten season I have procrastinated and dragged my feet on this project. I have not obsessed about it. I have not been excited about it. I have certainly not been motivated. Yet today the Lord saved me - from embarrassment, worry, pride, apathy, myself essentially. He inspired me; He let me feel His presence. I am no longer worried whether I got it just right or whether people will feel Him through me. I no longer feel the responsibility to do this on my own. I feel Him, and I cannot tell you how relieved I am. And all I have to say, is once again, I may have been gifted the physical skills needed to make station #5, but it is His creation. I have been saved, and I cannot take credit. Oh thank you, sweet Jesus!

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