Monday, June 21, 2010


We just got back from Kiawah Island Resort, and the kids and I decided to live there. Unfortunately, Michael kept playing the part of the realist and reminding us that the next family booked in the house would not appreciate our presence come Monday. Then I reminded him that if he would win the lottery as previously agreed, then there would be no other family moving in come Monday. Again, just a shrug...

This brings me to a harsh and brutal reality. Perhaps we as a family are where we are supposed to be. I enjoy my life. I enjoy my children. I enjoy my days of routine. All that is good. What I don't enjoy is the feeling of instability. It is stressful and aging. It causes me to worry. So I have prayed for that part of our lives to go away.

And it hasn't.

I have asked others to pray for us.

Still no answers.

I have forgotten to pray completely and instead gotten on the phone to complain to family and friends.

Still here.

I am not a patient person that is trying desperately to practice patience. I am trying to "live in the moment." I am trying to follow my own advice and be grateful for my daily bread and not worry about tomorrow's bread. And honestly, most of the time, I'm good.

Michael said he thinks God's silence means...we are where we are supposed to be.

That was not the answer I have been praying for.

But vacation, it was wonderful. It was the first full week we've had together in over five years. So I am going grocery shopping later, and I think I might have to pick up a lottery ticket...

Dear Lord, please let the numbers on my ticket miraculously match the numbers in the newspaper. I'll let you know how it goes...

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