Thursday, April 7, 2011

Lenten Journal Day 26

Yesterday Ann VosKamp wrote:

"That is why, for Paul, the everlasting fire and destruction of hell is ‘exclusion from the presence of the Lord.” (2 Thessalonians 1:9.)”

Tears started. My reaction surprised me. Maybe it has been an overdue date, those tears. But I sat at my computer, and out loud I spoke. I don't want to be separated. No. I want to be with God. Always. And I want everybody to come with me. Everybody.

Yesterday my blog got flagged for abusive content. Maybe it was a mistake. A virus. Maybe it was someone offended by my writings. Whatever it was, whoever it was, my feelings got hurt. Flagging my blog ruffled my feathers. But this morning, I got up (actually wake up, pray, stand up), and the hurt had gone away. I felt no anger. I'm sad there has been an interruption in my journey. But really, it is also an opportunity. I want grace, and so, to be Jesus to others I must extend grace. And I really want it. I want it so that at the end of it all, when my head lays down for a final time, when I say goodbye to this fleeting moment, this here life on Earth, I get to be with our God. And I want to see Him, feel Him, be enveloped by Him.

And in the meantime I want to open my eyes. I want to taste this life. Smell the soft green Earth. Walk barefoot outside on a warm day. I want to take communion on Sundays and be immersed in the daily communion of life with our Lord. Our Lord. I want it all. But more importantly, I want the awareness of it all. Of all my surroundings. And in each step, again, I really want that grace.

And so, for that to happen, I must also extend it. That grace.
(Even to that mean ole flagger.)

Matthew 5:44

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

1 comment:

  1. That is so weird that you got flagged for abusive content. I give that a big ole "WHATEVER." But, I can totally see why and how that hurt you. The way you took it to the Lord and the peace that He gave you, shows us that everything only matters to the Lord. We are His. I am with you, girl. I just want to walk with Him right here. Right now. Praying for you, sweet friend!